he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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