my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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