she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
