Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
