there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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