Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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