marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are these your boobs on my camera?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
