If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
