That's intense
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize