gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize