her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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