my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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