Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize