So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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