oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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