You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
