The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
