As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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