What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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