Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
