you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
