I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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