i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
