So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
