How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
