I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize