He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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