Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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