We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize