if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
