I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You pole danced in your parka.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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