Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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