OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize