I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
