dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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