Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
