he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
