god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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