Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
