I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
