stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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