she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
