I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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