dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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