Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
