I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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