You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize