i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize