So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
