you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
