I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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