all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
