So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
