oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
