Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
