hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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