your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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