Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
