the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
