Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize