I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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