All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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